you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
