I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
