I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
