nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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