So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
