she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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