the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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