I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
