His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize