Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
