im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
