I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
either way he was missing a nipple.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
