sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
