I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
