Can i not drive my cunt home
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize