Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
