Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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