5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
