Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
