"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Randomize
