just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
