Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
