and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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