I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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