If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
