ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize