I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
