OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just want nice things and good sex
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
