Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
