I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
