the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
