I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize