Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
