I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
