I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
