i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
