her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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