if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
