Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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