What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
