ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
