The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
