At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
