do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
