Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
