i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
