when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
