i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I can't turn off my feet"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
