you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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