I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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