dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
