It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
