uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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