WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
