I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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