i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize