totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
