i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
