how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you win again, gameday.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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