I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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