i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
well you can't waste a boner
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
