yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
and you fell through a lawn chair
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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