I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
