ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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