remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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