Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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