he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
